


Meme Hell

by imagine_hamburr



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is a sweet bby cinnamon roll, Alex is trash for Aaron, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, Chatting & Messaging, Chipotle, Cuddles, Eliza is a the mom of the group., First Kiss, Friends rule :), Hamburr Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, JEFFERSON IS A REALLY BIG ASSHOLE LIKE OMFG, M/M, Madison is just there lol, Mentions of drugs, Mulligan Laff and John fight over memes, PEGGY IS A MEME-LOVING FUCK., PEGGY IS BAMF., Skittles?, Texting, Thomas is a dick
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7189463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imagine_hamburr/pseuds/imagine_hamburr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ham-lion: Guys, What should I text Aaron omg!?</p><p>fightingfrench-fry: Send him a dick pic. </p><p>Ham-lion has left the chat.</p><p>JTurtleLover: WERE JOKING OMFG CHILL</p><p>Mulligan.Horse:Watching yall sin smh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hammy is in love with Burr

Ham-lion: GUYS GUYS GUYS!!! I GOT AARON BURRS NUMBER IH MY GoD!! AHHHH

Mulligan.Horse: y

JTurtlelover: Have u not heard Alex talk about him for like the entire class period?

Mulligan.Horse: no

JTurtlelover: ???

fightingfrench-fry has sent a picture 

JTurtlelover:IM- Oh MY goD IM cRYINg

Ham-lion: IS THAT HERCULES ASLEEP IN CLASS!?

JTurtleLover: I C A N T B R E A T H.

Mulligan.Horse: WTF. HOW DID U GET THAT!?

fightingfrench-fry: THATS why u don't remember Alex never shutting up about Aaron Burr.

Ham-lion: Y do u guys hate him I think he's really cool!!!

JTurtleLover: THE FACT THAT U DROOL WHEN U SLEEP IS FUCKIN HILARIOUS. 

Mulligan.Horse: LAFFY.

fightingfrench-fry: I took more.

Mulligan.Horse: NO.

JTurtleLover: SEND THEM TO ME PLS!!!

Mulligan.Horse: IM BEING BULLIED. HAM HELP ME. 

Ham-lion: Guys shutup and help me!!!  
What should I text Aaron?

Mulligan.Horse has left the chat. 

Ham-lion: NO.

Ham-lion has added Mulligan.Horse back  
to the chat. 

Ham-lion: HELPPPP MEEEE! Pls? ):

JTurtleLover: Alex its not that hard just  
say hi to him or something smh. 

Ham-lion: What if he goes into a conversation with me!?

fightingfrench-fry: Well u don't have to worry there im sure you will do find Alex.

Ham-lion: Okay...Bye guys!

Mulligan.Horse: bye.

JTurtleLover: Good luck Hammy!

fightingfrench-fry: Bye bye Mon cheri. 

fightingfrench-fry has sent a picture. 

Mulligan.Horse: S T O P. 

JTurtlelover: IM GONNA DIe StOPPP  
SEND THAT TO ME PLS!!!

Mulligan.Horse has left the chat. 

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: Hey. 

A.Burr: Hey, you finally texted me! Did you do well on the test?

Ham-lion: Yeah! I got an really good grade on Washington's test! Thanks for that!

A.Burr: Haha, anytime!

Ham-lion:....

A.Burr:....

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: GUYS. GUYS HELP THERES AN AWKWARD SILENCE HOW DO I BREAK IT- Wheres Hercules tf???

JTurtleLover has sent a picture

fightingfrench-fry: A masterpiece, Just look at the drool and the stuffed rabbit...

Ham-lion has added Mulligan.Horses to the chat. 

Ham-lion: How do I break the silence!?

Mulligan.Horses: SEND A MEME. 

fightingfrench-fry: What is ur obsession with memes?

Mulligan.Horses has sent a photo to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: What.

JTurtleLover: Is that. 

fightingfrench-fry: MON AMI I HAVE DISCOURAGED U. 

Mulligan.Horses: Its Pepe what are u talking about John?

Mulligan.Horses has sent a photo. 

JTurtleLover: IM UNCOMFORTABLE. 

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo.

JTurtleLover has left the chat. 

Mulligan.Horses: HAH! TAKE THAT!

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horses: S T O P I T I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS fUVK

Mulligan.Horses has left the chat. 

Ham-lion: Is anyone gonna help me!?

fightingfrench-fry: Just send him a funny picture or meme you'll do fine :)

Ham-lion: Omg thank you laff! <3

fightingfrench-fry: <3

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion has sent a photo

A.Burr: ...Um...? Is that Pepe...???

Ham-lion: Uh yeah. Do you like memes?

A.Burr:...I suppose. 

Ham-lion: A few of my friends are fighting because of a certain picture so now one of them is teasing the other with memes cuz he hates them.

A.Burr: A bit unlawful, But seems harmless and funny...Send me more Pepes!

Ham-lion: Lol really??

A.Burr: Yeah! Hey also...Do you want to...hang out or something this week?

Ham-lion:...

A.Burr: Hm...? Alex?

Ham-lion: YES THAT WOULD BE GREAT!!! Oops sorry caps. 

A.Burr: Great! How about Starbucks in the morning on Saturday?

Ham-lion: Yeah! Totally! I'll see you then!!


	2. Hammy gets advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ham-lion: Alex  
> A.Burr: Aaron  
> JeffMissed.Evrything: Thomas  
> Mulligan.Horse: Hercules  
> fightingfrench-fry: Laffayette  
> JTurtleLover: John  
> eeellliiizzzaa: Eliza  
> Aangel.ica: Angelica  
> ANDPEGGY1: Peggy  
> maddiesson: James
> 
> \-----: Means another chat and or private chat
> 
> ....: Means a pause in the chat or no one is talking (Awkward silence basically)

A.Burr was added to the chat. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Have u been by chance texting someone lately?

A.Burr: Why do you care Thomas? Is this about Alexander?

JeffMissed.Evrything: Not just Alexander, Alexander HAMILTON. 

A.Burr: Oh God is this about Alex getting a better grade than you in class?

JeffMissed.Evrything: UR THE ONE WHO HELPED HIM!!!

A.Burr: Yeah because he asked me too!

JeffMissed.Evrything: Aaron, Im going to say this once, and u better listen. I want you to stop texting/talking to Alexander Hamilton. 

A.Burr: Why? 

JeffMissed.Evrything: BECAUSE HES MY RIVAL U FUCKING DOLT. HES THE ENEMY AND I PLAN ON GETTING HIGHER SCORES THAN HIM!!!

A.Burr: Alex is a good friend of mine, And I don't plan on letting go of him. Honestly I should stop talking to YOU. You know what, Why AM I even friends with you?

maddiesson: wait were friends with him???

JeffMissed.Evrything: IM.

A.Burr: You know what? I don't care. You can't tell me who my friends are, And Im sure if you talked to Alex you would be good friends with him also. I gtg I have homework to do. 

A.Burr has left the chat. 

maddiesson: I think you were a little harsh there, Jeff. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: UGH WHY CAN'T HE SEE HOW MUCH OF A BASTARD ALEX IS GOD FUCK HIM!

maddiesson: I don't think god can fuck him tbh

JeffMissed.Evrything: U know what I meant!!! Anyways, I think I have a little idea...Why is Alex talking to Burr anyways...? I think we should investigate. Burr is OUR friend, NOT alexanders! 

maddieson: Alright, Im taking a nap txt me when u have ur master plan

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: GuYs I DONT THINK MY HEART CAN TAKE ANYMORE!

Mulligan.Horse: NEITHER CAN I.

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo

JTurtleLover: FRANKLIN IS BETTER!!!

Mulligan.Horse: SHUTUP PEPE IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR. 

fightingfrench-fry: i just came out here to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked rn. 

fightingfrench-fry sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horse: FUcK

Ham-lion: What the fuck is going on what r u guys fighting about!?

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo.

JTurtleLover: MEMES ALEX. 

fightingfrench-fry: GUyS I wAnT TO liVE Let mE LIVERE

Ham-lion: ???

Ham-lion: UGH U guys aren't helping! 

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa, Aangel.ica, ANDPEGGY1

Ham-lion: Im having gay distress someone help me!!!

eeellliiizzzaa: What the hell have we been added too?

fightingfrench-fry: Meme hell( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aangel.ica: Jesus christ. 

ANDPEGGY1: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

eeellliiizzzaa: OH MY gOD

Aangel.ica: PEGGY N O. 

ANDPEGGY1: PEGGY YES. 

Mulligan.Horse: PEGGY MARRY ME. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo.

Ham-lion: SToP.

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo

Mulligan.Horse: BRING IT BITCH. 

fightingfrench-fry: I T. W I L L. N E V E R. E N D. 

ANDPEGGY1:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) BRING THE MEMES TO ME. 

Ham-lion: Can I talk to someone whos not a meme loving fuck?

Aangel.ica: Come on lets go to a separate chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Perfect. 

Ham-lion: Yay!

Ham-lion has left the chat. 

Aangel.ica has left the chat.

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat. 

ANDPEGGY1: And then there where four...

fightingfrench-fry: Let the Meme Games begin. 

JTurtleLover: Oh god.

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion has been added to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay so whats this all about Hammy?

Ham-lion: AARON BURR ASKED ME OUT anD Im SO EXCITED YET TERRIFIED. 

Aangel.ica: Aw really? Congrats!

eeellliiizzzaa: Where did he ask you out too?

Ham-lion: Well he didn't really ask me out he just kinda asked if I wanted to get coffee with him in the morning on Saturday but Its kinda a date right? When he asked me I had to stop and make sure I was awake and then i screamed and danced around. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Awww Thats great Hammy...But he did not really ask u out...

Aangel.ica: Not unless he actually says 'wanna go on a date with me?'

Ham-lion: Oh...

eeellliiizzzaa: But its still okay! You get to hang out with him still!

Ham-lion: I guess so...Guys I seriously really really like Aaron...):

Aangel.ica: Don't worry, Maybe he will like u after this!!

Ham-lion: Hehe yeah! :)!!

Ham-lion: well I gtg homework. 

eeellliiizzzaa: ew. Alright bye.

Aangel.ica: Bye bye hammy!

Ham-lion has left the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: ANGELICA HE REALLY LOVES BURR OMG I SHIP IT SO HARd. 

Aangel.ica: IKR!?

eeellliiizzzaa: AAaaaHHHH THEY WOULD BE SO CUTE TOGETHER!!! we HAVE To make SUre they get together! !

Aangel.ica: Sounds like a plan, sister! 

eeellliiizzzaa: YAYA!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Thomas is a huge dickhole in this. Aaron also does not know Alex likes him and Peggy is a secret meme loving fuck.


	3. Thomas investigates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas investigates farther into Hams life.

JeffMissed.Evrything has added Ham-lion to the chat.

Ham-lion: Ew who invited the trash can here. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Aleexxx, My good ole friend buddy oh boy. 

Ham-lion: Don't act all nice to me i know ur bullshitting y did u add me to this chat?

JeffMissed.Evrything: Ohhh nothing just...trying to figure out why the fuck your hanging with Burr on Saturday?

Ham-lion: ??? What are u talking about??

maddiesson: Don't play coy Alexander we know what ur up too.

JeffMissed.Evrything: Did u just say fucking coy???

Ham-lion: I don't know what you two dingbats are talking about but Im not hanging out with burr wtf. 

JeffMissed.Evrything has sent a photo

JeffMissed.Evrything: WHy THE fuCK u LyIN WHy U alWayS LyINNNN 

maddiesson: MMMMM OH mY GODdd

JeffMissed.Evrything: S T O P. F U C K I N G. L Y I N G. 

Ham-lion: Well what if burr is lying ever thought about that asshats?

maddisson: IF??

JeffMissed.Evrything: Why so defensive, Alex??? Are you keeping a dirty little secret???

Ham-lion: FUCK OF TRASH. 

maddieson: MMMMMMMMMMM

JeffMissed.Evrything: ALEX HAS A SEEEECCCREEEETTTT. 

Ham-lion has left the chat

JeffMissed.Evrything: GET BACK HERE U LIAR. 

JeffMissed.Evrything has added Ham-lion to the chat. 

Ham-lion has left the chat. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: HE BLOCKED ME IM CRYING. 

maddiesson: DAMN. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: well welll weeeelll looks like Alex has a big secret of why hes seeing burr....Do you know what this means?

maddiesson: Yep. Time to raise hell

JeffMissed.Evrything: You know me so well <3

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: Hey Burr... Have u been talking to Thomas Jefferson and James Madison about me? ):

A.Burr: They added me to their stupid chat and were asking me why I was hanging out with you on Saturday and were trying to force me to not talk/text you. Just ignore them they're jerks. 

Ham-lion: Oh okay, Because they just added me to this chat and questioned me y I was gonna hang out with u.

Ham-lion: Whats their problem?

A.Burr: I don't know, excuse my french but they're fucking assholes. 

Ham-lion: Im LaUGHiNG

A.Burr: Good. Alex...You are a very good friend to me that I intend to keep. :)

Ham-lion:.....

A.Burr: Alex? You there?

Ham-lion: YEaH IM JUST Y'KNOW HAVING A HEART ATTACK. 

A.Burr: Haha! Your hilarious Alex! Alright I gotta go, See you Saturday!

Ham-lion: Oh...okay...Bye. 

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: GUYS I THINK I JUST GOT FRIEND-ZONED. 

Mulligan.Horse: how?

JTurtleLover: Awww..Im sorry Alex. ): R u sure?

Ham-lion has sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horse: Oohhhhh...Not looking to good...

JTurtleLover: Im sitting here questioning Burr's IQ 

fightingfrench-fry: SAME How can you NOT notice that!? 

Ham-lion: ): Guys please don't joke about this I seriously think im in love with him.

Mulligan.Horse: Oh, Alex...

JTurtleLover: SERIOUSLY!? I THOUGHT U LIKED ME ): IM UR HUSBAND.

Ham-lion: Its okay bby I still love u <3

JTurtleLover: <3

Mulligan.Horse: <3

fightingfrench-fry: 3

JTurtleLover has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat. 

Ham-lion: R00D

Mulligan.Horse: DAMN DANIEL. 

Ham-lion: DID U JUST-

JTurtleLover: IM-

JTurtleLover has added fightingfrench-fry back to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: LOOK AT THIS SINNER. 

ANDPEGGY1 has sent a photo. 

Ham-lion: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. 

Mulligan.Horse: PEGGY WTF HOW R U STILL HERE!?

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo. 

JTurtleLover: NOOOOOOO

Mulligan.Horse: PEGGY WHAT HAVE U DONE. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

ANDPEGGY1:( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Let the meme war begin...

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

Ham-lion: I DIDN't WANT THIS.

JTurtleLover: This is not what I want.

Mulligan.Horse: This is not what I planned. 

fightingfrench-fry: And I just gotta say

ANDPEGGY1: I do not understand. 

Ham-lion: YOU GUYS SUCK. 

ANDPEGGY1: And u swallow 

Mulligan.Horse: AND YOU SPIT.

JTurtleLover has sent a photo

Ham-lion has left the chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will continue this!


	4. Peggy NO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy just being a meme loving fuck :)

Ham-lion: Guys Im So ExCITED SQUEEEE. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horse: DO YA'LL SLEEP?

Ham-lion: IVE BEEN TO EXCITED TO SLEEP AHHHHH!!!

ANDPEGGY1 has sent a photo.

JTurtleLover: SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK WHICH ALSO MEANS I WILL NOT LOOSE TO PEGGY IN THIS MEME WAR I STG. 

ANDPEGGY1: Surrender. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo

Mulligan.Horse: YA'LL BLOWING UP MY PHONE IM TRYIN TO SLEEP. 

fightingfrench-fry: Honey just mute the chat smh. 

JTurtleLover: Its 4 in the fucking morning Peggy give up u r weak.

ANDPEGGY1: No. 

ANDPEGGY1 has sent a photo

Ham-lion: Guys Im just gonna stay in this chat So I can text y'all whats going on 

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa and Aangel.ica to the chat. 

JTurtleLover has sent a photo

ANDPEGGY1: FUCK. 

\-----------------------------------------------

A.Burr: Hey do you look pretty yet? :)

Ham-lion: Haha...I always am for you...;)

A.Burr: I sNOrTED

Ham-lion: Haha...Yeah...

A.Burr: Alright on my way, Don't worry about me I'll pay. 

Ham-lion: No you don't have too!!!

A.Burr: Relax, Your my guest :)

Ham-lion: Uh...okay.

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion: OMg HES DRIVING ME AHHHHH HE LOOKS SO CUTE. HES WEARING A REALLY CUTE PANIC! SHIRT OMGg 

eeellliiizzzaa: BURR LISTENS TO PANIC! AT THE DISCO!?

Mulligan.Horse: ALex u better marry him. 

Ham-lion: Well first I have to date him for him to be my husband but girl im trying. 

Aangel.ica: Where is Peggy?

Mulligan.Horse: Oh Her and John went to sleep they were up all night fighting over memes.

Aangel.ica: Of course. 

Aangel.ica:...

Mulligan.Horse:...

eeellliiizzzaa:...

eeellliiizzzaa: Wheres Laff?

fightingfrench-fry: What the fuck have I woken up too. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Hell.

Aangel.ica: Meme hell to be exact. 

Mulligan.Horse: At least the evil is vanquished John and Peggy went to sleep. 

eeellliiizzzaa: um...Not exactly...Peggy is still on her phone. 'In bed'

Mulligan.Horse: The fuck does that mean. 

fightingfrench-fry: Can u not read?

Mulligan.Horse: excuse me?

fightingfrench-fry: DID I STUTTER, BITCH? 

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo.

Mulligan.Horse: FITE ME. 

fightingfrench-fry: Ew no. Go away.

fightingfrencg-fry has sent a photo. 

eeellliiizzzaa: NOT AGAIN. 

Aangel.ica: N O.

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat. 

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa to the chat. 

Ham-lion: GUYS WHAT DO I DO I WANT TO CONFESS MY UNDYING LOVE FOR AARON SOMEONE HELP IM JUST A SMOLL GAY MAN. 

ANDPEGGY1: OFFER TO SUCK HIS DICK!!!

Ham-lion has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: OHMyGOD-

fightingfrench-fry: I M L A U G H I N G. 

Aangel.ica: PEGGY!!!

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: IM GONNA cRY 

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa to the chat. 

Ham-lion: GUYS STOP JOKING AROUND THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT!!!

Ham-lion: SHIT FUTURE BF IS BACK WITH COFFEE ABORT ABORT. 

JTurtleLover: U HAD ONE JOB PEGGY. 

JTurtleLover has added ANDPEGGY1 to the chat

ANDPEGGY1: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aangel.ica: L E T I T B U R N

Aangel.ica has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: ANGELICA THATS YOUR SISTER WTF. 

Aangel.ica: Thats not my sister...That THING...Is a meme loving fuck...

fightingfrench-fry: savage.

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

Mulligan.Horse: THATS IT. 

eeellliiizzzaa: DEAR GOD NOT AGAIN ANGELICA LETS GO BEFORE THEY BRING OUT PEPE.

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo

Aangel.ica: TOO LATE. 

Mulligan.Horse: J O I N U S.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

JTurtleLover: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fightingfrench-fry: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat.

Aangel.ica has left the chat.


	5. THEY HAVE GIF'S!?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas Jefferson crashes a 'date' and ruins everything basically

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo

fightingfrench-fry: I will fite all of u i stg

JTurtleLover: I haven't seen Alex text about Burr in 15 minutes guys im getting worried. 

Mulligan.Horse: same. 

fightingfrench-fry: Alex were worried if ur dead say nothing. 

Mulligan.Horse: ??? If we were worried about him we would ask him 'Text if ur alive'. 

fightingfrench-fry: exactly. 

JTurtleLover: Laff that makes like zero sense. 

fightingfrench-fry: ITS A JOKE. 

JTurtleLover: Well its not very funny. 

Mulligan.Horse: Yeah. 

fightingfrench-fry: So is ur mom.

Mulligan.Horse has sent a Gif

JTurtleLover: WTF THEY HAVE GIF'S ON HERE!?!?

fightingfrench-fry: U didn't know?

JTurtleLover: NO.

Mulligan.Horse has sent a photo. 

fightingfrench-fry: Oh MY GOOODDD. 

Ham-lion: GUYS! AARON WENT TO THE BATHROOM IM TXTING UNDER THE TABLE I NEED SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT WITH HIM QUICK!!!

fightingfrench-fry: y is it always about u Alex what if I have a problem?

Ham-lion:???? u have a problem, laff?? Whats wrong??

fightingfrench-fry: no im good i just like to mess with u :)

Ham-lion has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat. 

JTurtleLover: SAVAGE.

Mulligan.Horse has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: dude just talk to him about the weather or something boring.

Ham-lion: R u calling my future boyfriend boring???

JTurtleLover: He kinda is Ham...

Ham-lion: U guys never help me god fucking damn't could u stop fighting over memes for like a second?

fightingfrench-fry: no. 

JTurtleLover: Hammy were sorry okay...Hmm something to talk about...Ask him about his favorite bands or politics

Mulligan.Horse: WTF NO U SHOULD NEVER ASK SOMEONE UR HANGING OUT WITH OR JUST MET ABOUT POLITICS ITS TERRIBLE. 

JTurtleLover: Jesus christ I was just suggesting something. 

Mulligan.Horse: Thnks for calling me jesus it means a lot. 

JTurtleLover has kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

Ham-lion: Im so done omfg someone help me pls. 

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa, Aangel.ica, and ANDPEGGY1 to the chat. 

Aangel.ica: Whats wrong now?

Ham-lion: I need topics to talk about to Burr and quick. 

eeellliiizzzaa: BANDS. 

Aangel.ica: STORES, FOOD, MOVIES!!

ANDPEGGY1: Have u sucked his dick yet?

Aangel.ica has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat.

eeellliiizzzaa: PEGGY WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS. 

JTurtleLover: PEGGY IS MY FUCKING SPIRIT ANIMAL. 

Ham-lion:...

JTurtleLover:...

eeellliiizzzaa:...

Aangel.ica:...

fightingfrench-fry:...

fightingfrench-fry: Jesus how long has Burr been in the bathroom. 

Ham-lion: Im not Jesus. 

fightingfrench-fry: U know what I mean u sarcastic fuck. 

Ham-lion: UM. GUYS. THOMAS JEFFERSON AND JAMES MADISON ARE HERE. BURR WAS TALKING TO THEM WHEN HE WALKED OUT OF THE BATHROOM HE LOOKS REALLY PISSED OFF RN

eeellliiizzzaa: PUNCH HIM. 

Aangel.ica: That asshole still owes me money. 

fightingfrench-fry has added Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: I didn't know they let trash inside starbucks. 

Ham-lion: me either. 

JTurtleLover: They let u in Herc. :)

Mulligan.Horse: Im gonna ignore that bc im sick of adding people back in the chat :)

JTurtleLover: :)

fightingfrench-fry: :)

Aangel.ica: :)

eeellliiizzzaa: ):

JTurtleLover has kicked eeellliiizzzaa from the chat. 

Ham-lion: JOHB STOP KICKING PEOPLE FROM THE CHAT JFC

Ham-lion has added eeellliiizzzaa to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: JOHB IM LAUGHING. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Kick me again and I will break ur thighs with my tongue. 

Mulligan.Horse: Tf 

Ham-lion: OMG HE WALKED UP AND WAS ALL LIKE: "OMGGG ALEXXX WHAT A SURPRISE TOO MEET U HERE." Im GonNa BARFFF. 

fightingfrench-fry: he throwin shade. 

Aangel.ica: Thomas Jefferson is a dickhole U and Burr should just leave that place is tainted with his presence. 

JTurtleLover: tru.

Ham-lion: Burr and me r leaving now Thomas Motherfucking Jefferson ruined it all. ): We where having a really good convo before he went to the bathroom and now hes upset ):

eeellliiizzzaa: Awww im sorry Hammy ):

Aangel.ica: Thomas Jefferson is such a jerk. Sorry Ham-man. 

JTurtleLover has sent a Gif. 

eeellliiizzzaa: THEY HAVE GIF'S ON HERE!?

Mulligan.Horse: Ya'll slow.

Ham-lion: Well im going to go wallow in my shame now bye ):

fightingfrench-fry: ew. 

JTurtleLover: Come on Alex why don't we all hang out or something? don't worry about stupid Thomas Jefferson. 

Ham-lion: U GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND I HAVE LOVED BURR EVER SINCE I MET HIM AND I FEEL LIKE MY FCKING HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE SOMETIMES WHEN IM AROUND HIM AND WHEN I STARE INTO HIS EYES I FEEL LIKE THE SEA IS SWALLOWING ME UP INTO DARKNESS AND ALL I CAN SEE IS HIM AND ITS DRIVING ME FCKING CRAZY. 

Mulligan.Horse: Wow Alex I never knew u where such a poet. 

Ham-lion has left the chat. 

Aangel.ica: NOW LOOK WHAT U IDIOTS DID YOU HURT HIS FEELINGS!

fightingfrench-fry: I blame peggy. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Its Thomas Jeffersons fault guys, whatever he's trying to pull hes trying to ruin Burr and Alex's relationship and Alex is our friend and he's really upset about it I say we confront Thomas about this!

JTurtleLover: Thats a great idea! 

fightingfrench-fry: Yeah if u want your life to be shit. Guys I know Thomas Jefferson, He is not a man to be fucked with. 

Mulligan.Horse: He really isn't. Hes kinda fuckin crazy if u haven't noticed. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Yeah but we have to try something, for Alex!

Mulligan.Horse: For alex!

JTurtleLover: For alex!

fightingfrench-fry: FOR ALEX, MON AMI!

Aangel.ica has added ANDPEGGY1 to the chat. 

Aangel.ica: FOR ALEXANDER!

ANDPEGGY1: For Memes.

Aangel.ica has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat.


	6. Meme Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laff explains his hatred for jeff, Aaron is worried about alex and peggy is still a meme loving fuck (Im pretty sure I fixed it now)

A.Burr has added Ham-lion to the chat. 

A.Burr: Hamilton are you okay? Im sorry about what happened at Starbucks Thomas Jefferson is a huge prick I never intended for this to happen ):

Ham-lion:...

A.Burr:...

A.Burr:...Alex...Please...):

A.Burr has left the chat. 

\-----------------------------------------------

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay so before we start are master plan I think we all should say why we hate Jefferson personally if we do. 

Mulligan.Horse: Then Laff will have a fucking paragraph. 

fightingfrench-fry has kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

JTurtleLover: Ya'll childish smh. 

fightingfrench-fry: Well excuse me but u don't know Jefferson like I do.

Aangel.ica has added Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

Aangel.ica: Take this seriously guys come on stop screwin around!

eeellliizzzaa: What did Jefferson do to u Laff?

fightingfrench-fry has left the chat. 

ANDPEGGY1: NO. 

ANDPEGGY1 has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat.

fightingfrench-fry: I was his friend for a while and stuff idk leave me alone. 

Aangel.ica: What do u mean he was ur friend?

fightingfrench-fry has left the chat.

eeellliiizzzaa has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: dude I think its about time u tell them.

JTurtleLover: tell us what???

fightingfrench-fry:...

JTurtleLover:...

Mulligan.Horse:...

eeellliiizzzaa:...

Aangel.ica:...

eeellliiizzzaa: Come out with it Laff, We won't make fun of you were ur friends were here for u :)

fightingfrench-fry: Okay fine. Me and him used to be friends until one day he talked shit about me behind my back and turned everyone against me. Thomas Jefferson is lying scumbag that stabs people in the back to get anything he wants even if it means to hurt his best friend. 

JTurtleLover: U WERE HIS BEST FRIEND!?!?

Mulligan.Horse: sinner. 

fightingfrench-fry has kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

Aangel.ica: Damn.

ANDPEGGY1: *Daniel.

eeellliiizzzaa: Peggy not now. 

eeellliiizzzaa: AND STOP KICKING EACH OTHER!!! 

eeellliiizzzaa has added Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

fightingfrench-fry: Its fine, I have better friends than that loser. <3

eeellliiizzzaa: awww <3

Aangel.ica: <3

JTurtleLover: <3

ANDPEGGY1: <3

Mulligan.Horse: 3

fightingfrench-fry: BITCH!

fightingfrench-fry has kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

Aangel.ica has added A.Burr to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: GOD DAMN'T STOP IT BOTH OF U!!! YOU KNOW WHAT?

eeellliiizzzaa has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat. 

A.Burr: Um...

Aangel.ica: ELIZA!!!

JTurtleLover: IM LAUGHING SO HARD RN. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Im not adding them back until they act right jfc.

ANDPEGGY1: Burr??? Y r u here?

Aangel.ica: I was literally just about to explain that but whatever.

A.Burr: Has Alex texted you guys recently?

eeellliiizzzaa: No

JTurtleLover: no

ANDPEGGY1: i don't even have his number lol. 

A.Burr: Well he hasn't responded to my texts in a long while Im really worried. He always responds to my texts. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Hammy always responds to texts...

A.Burr: Thats why Im worried ): Can one of you send me his address I may go check up on him. 

Aangel.ica: Yeah sure let me send it too you....

A.Burr:....

eeellliiizzzaa:...

JTurtleLover:...

ANDPEGGY1:...

A.Burr: Okay thank you. Goodbye.

A.Burr has left the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: How did u even add him angie?

Aangel.ica: He texted me so I added him so he could ask u guys personally. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay, so does anyone else have beef with Jeff?

Aangel.ica: He owes me twenty dollars. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Is that all? has everyone said what they had to say?

JTurtleLover: Yeah basically.

eeellliiizzzaa has added fightingfrench-fry and Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Have u losers calmed down?

fightingfrench-fry has sent a photo. 

JTurtleLover: LAFFY N O.

ANDPEGGY1: LAFFY Y E S. 

Aangel.ica: NOGODFUCKNOTAGAIN. 

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat

JTurtleLover has sent a photo. 

Mulligan.Horse: FITE ME. 

ANDPEGGY1: Join us, sister ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aangel.ica: N o O. 

JTurtleLover: Join us ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mulligan.Horse: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fightingfrench-fry: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aangel.ica has left the chat. 

JTurtleLover: aw.

ANDPEGGY1: She will join us one day, brothers...one day...Now, Let THE MEME GAMES BEGIN. MAY LENNY BE IN UR FAVOR ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	7. OHHHHH SHIT WHATUP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group confronts jeff, Aaron figures out a secret, and Peggy O W N S Jefferson.

eeellliiizzzaa: Alright lets go over the rules: Only Me, Laff, Or Angie can kick Jeff from the group, okay?

JTurtleLover: y?

Aangel.ica: Because u two kick each other out for stupid reasons. 

Mulligan.Horse: So does Laff.

fightingfrench-fry had kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay Laff u just had ur privilege taken away. 

Aangel.ica has added Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Well...I guess I could give laff the privilege of roasting jefferson if it gets out of hand. 

fightingfrench-fry: U know me so well Mon ami :) 

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay we ready?

Aangel.ica: Yeah!

JTurtleLover: BRING IT.

Mulligan.Horse: My body is ready. 

fightingfrench-fry: Im ready to roast and toast. 

eeellliiizzzaa has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat.

JeffMissed.Evrything: What the fuck???

eeellliiizzzaa: Hi.

Aangel.ica: hey...

JTurtleLover: Hi!

Mulligan.Horse: yo. 

fightingfrench-fry: BItCH.

fightingfrench-fry has kicked JeffMissed.Evrything from the chat 

eeellliiizzzaa: LAFFFY!!!

fightingfrench-fry: U TOLD ME TO ROAST HIM.

Aangel.ica: Laff, If u can't calm down please leave, We said u can ONLY roast him when told. 

fightingfrench-fry: Fine. 

fightingfrench-fry has left the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: Wow what a great start. 

Aangel.ica: STFU. 

eeellliiizzzaa has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat

eeellliiizzzaa: Thomas, We invited you to this chat to talk about something you did to a good friend of ours

JeffMissed.Evrything: Thats great! I don't give a fuck. 

JeffMissed.Evrything has left the chat.

Aangel.ica: Well isn't he charming?

Mulligan.Horse: R00D

JTurtleLover: Yeah no im not doing this bye.

eeellliizzzaa: NO UR STAYING HERE. 

JTurtleLover: ugh fine you better make up for this tho. 

eeellliiizzzaa has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Anyways, Alex came in this chat very upset saying you ruined his date with Aaron. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: D A T E??? 

eeellliiizzzaa:...

Mulligan.Horse:...

JTurtleLover:...

JeffMissed.Evrything:...

Aangel.ica:...

Aangel.ica: O H F U C K.

JeffMissed.Evrything: D

JTurtleLover: HE'S ON TOO US ABORT ABORT!!!

JeffMissed.Evrything: A

Mulligan.Horse: WE NEED BACKUP. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: T

eeelllliiizzzaa: NO, NO NOT A DATE I MiSPELLED *HANGING OUT!!!!

JTurtleLover: IDK WHAT TO DO I CAN'T KICK HIM ITS AGAINST THE RULES.

Mulligan.Horse has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: E

Mulligan.Horse: F U C K LAFF TURNED HIS PHONE OFF.

JTurtleLover:FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK. 

eeellliiizzzaa: THOMAS THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT!!! THEY WERE NOT ON A DATE!!!

Aangel.ica: ELIZA KICK HIM. 

Ham-lion: can anyone explain to me why AARON MOTHERFUCKING BURR MY FUTURE BOYFRIEND WAS AT MY HOUSE THIS MORNING!? Who told him my address!? I have told u guys im FINE!!! F I N E!! You guys embarrass me so much i stg!

Aangel.ica: GOD FUCKING DAMN'T.

eeellliiizzzaa: ALEX HOW THE FUcK R U STILL HERE!?!?!

JeffMissed.Evrything: Omg Alllexxxxx! Buddy ole boy my good great gay friend Alex!!!

eeellliiizzzaa has kicked JeffMissed.Evrything from the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: I have vanquished the evil that once plagued here. 

JTurtleLover: BLESs! 

Mulligan.Horse: THANK GOD TY ELIZA. 

Ham-lion: Why.....Is...THOMAS MOTHERFUCKING JEFFERSON IN MY GROUPCHAT!?

Mulligan.Horse: THATS A GREAT QUESTION THAT ELIZA AND ANGELICA CAN ANSWER BYE. 

Mulligan.Horse has left the chat. 

Aangel.ica: GET BACK HERE.

Aangel.ica had added Mulligan.Horse to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: HOW DARE U LEAVE ME HERE TO DIE. 

Mulligan.Horse: Evry gay man and woman for thmselves. 

Ham-lion: WHY IS T H O M A S. J E F F E R S O N. H E R E? 

eeellliiizzzaa:...

Aangel.ica:Um...

JTurtleLover:...

Mulligan.Horse:....

Ham-lion: FINE. ILL ASK HIM MYSELF SINCE U GUYS WON'T ANSWER UGH HOLD ON LET ME UNBLOCK HIM-

Ham-lion has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: NOOOOOOOOOoooo!!!

JTurtleLover has left the chat.

Mulligan.Horse has left the chat. 

Aangel.ica: YOU GUYS SUcK!!!

eeellliiizzzaa: HOW DARE THEY. 

Ham-lion: Why the FUCK r u in my chat trash!? 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Well ur stupid friends added me in and told me about your little D A T E with AARON BURR!!!

Ham-lion:...

eeellliiizzzaa:...

Aangel.ica:....

eeellliiizzzaa: Hammy...I didn't mean too...

JeffMissed.Evrything: SO R U GAY FOR AARON BURR? 

Aangel.ica: LEAVE HIM ALONE ASSHOLE!!!

JeffMissed.Evrything: IM GONNA HAVE TO PUT THIS IN THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER OMFG THEN BURR WILL PROBABLY MOVE OUT OF TOWN LOL!!!

eeellliiizzzaa: I JUST CAME OUT TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND HONESTLY IM FEELING SO ATTACKED RN. 

fightintfrench-fry: I LEFT FOR A FUCKING HOUR AND U SCAREDY-CATS HAVE ALREADY FUCKIN BAILED FROM A LITERAL TALKING TRASH CAN SMH. 

fightingfrench-fry has added Mulligan.Horse and JTurtleLover to the chat

JeffMissed.Evrything: OMG MADDIE HOLY FuCK

JeffMissed.Evrything has added maddiesson to the chat.

maddiesson:????MemeHell tf???

JTurtleLover: oh Hi Maddie. 

maddiesson: Where am I who r u people??? Oh hey john :)

Mulligan.Horse: IM DONE. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: OMG MADDIE ALEXANDER HAMILTON IS IN LOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE WITH BURR!!!

maddiesson:??? Ooooohhh...Aw thats kinda cute tbh.

eeellliiizzzaa: Ikr!?

JeffMissed.Evrything: maddie ur not helping. 

maddiesson: Whoops sorry. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: ALEXXXX U KNOW WHAT THIS MEEAANNNSSS???

Ham-lion: THAT YOUR GONNA GO FUCK YOURSELF AND LEAVE ME THE F U C K ALONE!?!

JeffMissed.Evrything: *LOUD OBNOXIOUS BEEP NOISE* WRRROONNGGGGG!!

Mulligan.Horse: Tf...

JTurtleLover: Loud obnoxious beep noise. 

fightingfrench-fry: Wow Jeff U haven't changed much I see ur still a fucking low-life loser :)

JeffMissed.Evrything has kicked fightingfrench-fry, Mulligan.Horse, And JTurtleLover from the chat. 

Ham-lion: WTF U FUCKING DICKHOLE THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS. 

Aangel.ica: I don't think he cares up to this point...Since he has no friends of his own. 

eeellliiizzzaa: R O A S T E D. 

JeffMissed.Evrything has kicked eeellliiizzzaa and Aangel.ica from the chat.

JeffMissed.Evrything has added A.Burr to the chat.

JeffMissed.Evrything: ALEX CONFESS UR UNDYING BURNING OBSESSIVE LOVE FOR BURR!!!

A.Burr: Huh...? Why am I back...In this chat??? Thomas what the hell are you talking about???

A.Burr...

JeffMissed.Evrything:...

Ham-lion:...

maddiesson:...

maddiesson:...O h N o o o o....

JeffMissedEvrything: O h Y e s s s.

JeffMissed.Evrything: GO ON. SAY IT. SAY IT!!! I L O V E U!! U CAN DO IT, ITS NOT THAT FUCKIN HARD!! GO ON!!!

JeffMissed.Evrything: Hes like a little girl Burr, He writes your name ALLLL over his notebook and draws pictures of u durring class :)!

A.Burr: Shut the fuck up Thomas, Alex isn't in love with me! I mean he may be a little strange but he's NOT in love with me. 

maddiesson: OHHHHHHhhhMMMYYyyuGOOOOdddd.

Ham-lion:...Aaron...

JeffMissed.Evrything: Burr how stupid r u? how can u NOT notice!? IM LAUGHING. 

A.Burr:...? Alex...Is Thomas...telling the truth...? Are you...actually in love with me?

Ham-lion:..Im sorry...Im so, so, sorry, Burr...):

Ham-lion has left the chat.

A.Burr: Wait no, HAMILTON!

JeffMissed.Evrything: WHAT A hOOT. 

A.Burr: THOMAS JEFFERSON I HATE YOUR GUTS, IF THIS ALL BLOWS UP IN MY FACE YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WILL TAKE MY FOOT AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!

JeffMissed.Evrything: Sorry im not gay. :)

A.Burr has left the chat.

maddiesson: Dude...that was too far...

JeffMissed.Evrything: Oh shutup I was only joking. Half joking. Now When I post this in the paper, Hamilton will probably be so fuckin embarrassed he'll LEAVE TOWN!!!

ANDPEGGY1: Hey ur that drug dealer guy right? 

maddiesson: ...

JeffMissed.Evrything:...

ANDPEGGY1:...

maddiesson: W H A T . . .

JeffMissed.Evrything: WHO. THE FUCK. R U?

ANDPEGGY1: I think the real question is...Who. The FUCK. Are you? ಠ_ಠ??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im not sure if I should add a warning about Jefferson making jokes about ham being gay or jeff being a drug dealer, (since those are kinda triggering) should I put warning? I just don't want anyone to get hurt.


	8. skittles???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex confesses his love to burr and Peggy finds out a secret about Thomas.

fightingfrench-fry has added eeellliiizzzaa and Aangel.ica to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT KICKED OUT BY THOMAS MOTHERFUCKING JEFFERSON. 

Mulligan.Horse: Especially in are own group chat...

fightingfrench-fry: Yeah what a GREAAAATTTT plan THAT was...Now Thomas dick-hole is going to ruin Alex's reputation! 

Aangel.ica: Not to mention Burr's rep...Aren't his parents like super religious or something???

Mulligan.Horse: Yeah they will probably beat him with a bible when they find out Their son was spending time with Alex. God forbid.

eeellliiizzzaa: This is all my fault...

fightingfrench-fry: It kinda is.

Aangel.ica has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: THANKS.

JTurtleLover: Don't beat urself up about it Eliza, U tried ur best and u didn't know it would turn out this way ):

Mulligan.Horse: Its okay. We'll stop Thomas no matter what!

eeellliiizzzaa: Thanks guys ;)

Aangel.ica has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat.

Aangel.ica: APOLOGIZE. 

fightingfrench-fry: Im sorry. I blame peggy.

JTurtleLover: Wait...Where is Peggy..????

eeellliiizzzaa: O H N o O o O o O o....

Mulligan.Horse: PEGGYS STILL IN THE GROUP CHATFUCK.

Aangel.ica: OMFG PEGGY!!!

\-----------------------------------------------

A.Burr has added Ham-lion to the chat. 

A.Burr: Alex...Its okay, You can talk to me...

Ham-lion:...

A.Burr:....

A.Burr: Don't act like your phone is off I can see you reading my text!

Ham-lion: Burr...I really don't want to talk about this Im sorry...

A.Burr: Why are you apologizing? You never hurt me? Alex you are practically my best friend :)

Ham-lion: THATS THE PROBLEM.

A.Burr: ? What?

Ham-lion: I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND OR BEST FRIEND I WANT TO HOLD YOU KISS YOU AND LOVE YOU UNTIL DEATH DUE US PART AND MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN EVERYONE HAS TURNED THEIR BACK ON YOU, I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND SO HARD THAT IM GOING TO BREAK MY FUCKING WRIST, I WANT TO COVER YOU IN KISSES AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH THAT IM DROWNING YOU IN IT, I WANT YOU TO BE BY MY SIDE AS MY SOULMATE.

Ham-lion: AND I EVERY TIME I LOOK AT YOU...I...Im HOME! :(. I wake up EVERY. NIGHT. From a nightmare of being in a hurricane! It destroys everything in its path and people are dying and being sucked up into the abyss of darkness....An...And then...In the eye of the hurricane...I...I see you...You standing there with a bright white beautiful smile that could make any heart melt, you with your dark gorgeous eyes that I get lost in and I question myself and your dark intelligent brow...A-NAD FUCcK GODILOVEYOUSOFUCKINGMUCH.

A.Burr: Alex! Calm down okay!

Ham-lion: NO I wILL NOT CALM DOWN BECAUSE HOW CAN I WHEN THE PERSON THAT ALREADY HAS HAD MY HEART FOR A YEAR IS ONLY A FEW MILES AWAY FROM Me!? HOW CAN I CALM DOWN WHEN THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS EVER ACCEPTED ME FOR BEING GAY ARE MY FRIENDS AND...AND YOU. AARON YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME AND I HAVE BEEN REJECTED FOR BEING MYSELF ALL THE TIME.

Ham-lion: I would change who I was! I REALLY WOULD! but i can't help falling in love with you or other men because IM JUST A SMOLL HOMOSEXUAL MAN WHO IS IN LOVE WITH AARONBURRFUCK.

Ham-lion: I WILL SCREAM IT FROM EVERY ROOFTOP AND WINDOW!!! I WILL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY, I WILL KISS THE GROUND YOU WALK UPON AND I WILL BREAK MY LIMBS AND EVERY BONE IN MY BODY TO SHOW MY LOVE FOR YOU. I WILL WOUND MYSELF FOR YOU AND MAKE MYSELF BLEED, I WOULD RIP MY HEART OUT FOR YOU I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I LOVE YOU, AARON. 

Ham-lion:...

A.Burr:...

A.Burr: Alex...I never knew...You cared about me so much...

Ham-lion: MYHeARtWonTSROPBEaTiNGFucK

A.Burr: Alex are you okay!? 

Ham-lion: Im FINe jusT FinE.

A.Burr: Im coming over! Don't move and keep texting me okay!

\-----------------------------------------------

ANDPEGGY1: Yeah ur Skittles the drug dealer right?

maddiesson: SKITTLES???? TF.

JeffMissed.Evrything: UM. I DON'T KNOW WHAT UR TALKING ABOUT LOSER. 

ANDPEGGY1 has sent a photo. 

ANDPEGGY1: thats u right? Your giving prescribed pills to Charles Lee. U sell them for $40 bucks a bottle along with nicotine patches and ADHD/ADD patches for $25 a patch. U also will buy cigarettes for freshies and vapes for the rest. 

maddiesson: O H. M Y. G O D. 

JeffMissed.Evrything has left the chat. 

ANDPEGGY1: GET UR ASS BACK HERE SKITTLES. 

ANDPEGGY1 has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat. 

ANDPEGGY1 has added fightingfrench-fry, JTurtleLover, Mulligan.Horse, eeellliiizzzaa, and Aangel.ica to the chat. 

ANDPEGGY1 has sent a photo

ANDPEGGY1: Doesn't that look like Thomas Jefferson selling prescribed pills to kids at our school???

JTurtleLover: Is that skittles???

Mulligan.Horse: THOMAS JEFFERSON IS SKITTLES?????

eeellliiizzzaa: Who tf is Skittles???

fightingfrench-fry: Skittles is a so-called drug dealer at our school I thought it was just a joke, A lot of kids thought he was a myth...But apparently we DO have a drug dealer at school! 

maddiesson has left the chat. 

Aangel.ica: SKITTLES IS REAL.

eeellliiizzzaa: #SKITTLESISREAL

fightingfrench-fry: Heyy...Y'know, being upstanding students of our highschool...We should tell a teacher...

JeffMissed.Evrything: YOU WOULDN'T FUCKING D A R E.

fightingfrench-fry: Oh we WOULD!

Mulligan.Horse: U THINK THIS SHIT IS A GAME?

ANDPEGGY1: I could get you expelled from school, Im only O N E dial away from calling Mr.Washington, He will believe me and tell the principal!

JeffMissed.Evrything: ALRIGHT THE FUCK DO YOU LOSERS WANT!? MONEY? FREE SAMPLES!? WOMEN!? men...?

eeellliiizzzaa: We want u to leave Alex and Burr ALONE. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Y?

fightingfrench-fry: CAUSE UR BREAKING UP THE BAND YOKO. 

eeellliiizzzaa: THE SHIP IS NOT S A I L I N G SKITTLES. 

JTurtleLover: yeah SKITTLES. Hey guys, Why not make a tag on insta?

Mulligan.Horse: WHAT KIND OF TAG, JOHN?

JTurtleLover: IM gLAD U ASKED!!! #SKITTLESISREAL With peggys photo! Im a TOUCH AWAY FROM RUINING UR LIIIFFFFEEE :)

JeffMissed.Evrything: OKAYOKAYOKAYFINE ILL LEAve THEM ALONE JC. 

Aangel.ica: Good! Now,

Aangel.ica has kicked JeffMissed.Evrything from the chat.

JTurtleLover: YAAAAAYYYYY!!!

fightingfrench-fry: THE EVIL HAS BEEN VANQUISHED MWAHAHAHA!!!

Mulligan.Horse: U did it Eliza!!! :)

eeellliiizzzaa: Actually...It WAS ALL PEGGY! EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR MY SISTER, PEGGY!!! :)

Mulligan.Horse: WOOOOOOO!!!

JTurtleLover: GREAT JOB PEGS

fightingfrench-fry: did u just give her a nickname to her nickname?

JTurtleLover has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat. 

Aangel.ica: Peggy how did u know all that stuff about Skittles???

ANDPEGGY1: I heard about the rumor and got interested, being in the photography and Newspaper, club I was asked to write an short article about 'Skittles' (of course it never got passed the school board) but I took som suspicious looking photos and basically stalked him for a while. Today i was zooming into them while u guys where all fighting and realized Skittles was Thomas Jefferson! So then i asked him and BOOM this happened. 

Mulligan.Horse: That. Is one of the most smartest things I have ever heard Peggy say ever...

ANDPEGGY1: Im not just a meme loving fuck u know...

JTurtleLover: Hey where did Madison go? :(

JTurtleLover has added maddiesson to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: Hey are you alright? 

maddiesson: I never knew...Thomas...did all those things :(

Mulligan.Horse: Its okay, were here for you :)

maddiesson: I can see why Alexander likes u guys so much :)

Aangel.ica: Wait lets go tell Alex and Aaron!

eeellliiizzzaa: Yeah, Lets go tell Alex and Burr the great news!!!

ANDPEGGY1: Ohhh boi ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aangel.ica has left the chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa has left the chat. 

maddiesson has left the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

JTurtleLover: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Mulligan.Horse: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ANDPEGGY1: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

fightingfrench-fry: ( ͡° ͜ʖ

ANDPEGGY1: MOTHERFUCKER.

ANDPEGGY1 has kicked fightingfrench-fry from the chat.


	9. Touching Butts ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Alex spend time together and Angie and eliza take pics :)

eeellliiizzzaa has added A.Burr and Ham-lion to the chat. 

Aangel.ica: GUYS WE HAVE NEWS!!!

JTurtleLover: IM. TRYING. TO. SLEEP.

Mulligan.Horse: JOHN ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY JFC. 

JTurtleLover: I. DonT CARREREEEEE!!!! LET!!! Me! SLeeeEEEPpppP. 

fightingfrench-fry: Do ya'll know how to mute the fucking chat? Yall stupid smh. 

Mulligan.Horse: fite me laff!!!

fightingfrench-fry: no. 

Mulligan.Horse has kicked fightingfrench-fry. 

Aangel.ica: STOP. KICKING. EACHOTHER.

Mulligan.Horse: He wouldn't fight me. 

eeellliiizzzaa: IF U DONT STOP KICKING EACHOTHER ILL FIGHT BOTH OF U. 

JTurtleLover: I SNOr TED. 

Mulligan.Horse has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: Go to sleep child. 

JTurtleLover: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!! IM REBEL!!!

fightingfrench-fry: Im rebel. 

ANDPEGGY1: Same. 

JTurtleLover: Shutup. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Has Alex or Burr responded to you Angie?

Aangel.ica: Nope. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Hmmm...Im getting worried. 

ANDPEGGY1: Is ur Mommy instincts kicking in?

eeellliiizzzaa has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat. 

Mulligan.Horse: M O M M Y ?

fightingfrench-fry: Im kinkshaming. 

eeellliiizzzaa: FOR THE LAST TIME PEGGY I AM NOT THE MOTHER OF THIS GROUP. 

Aangel.ica: U kinda are sis. 

Mulligan.Horse: So r u angie.

Aangel.ica has kicked Mulligan.Horse from the chat. 

fightingfrench-fry: Im so done with this group chat. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Am I really the mother of the group, Laffy? ):

fightingfrench-fry: Eliza you are but thats a good thing it means u have a big heart and ur really sweet and care about us all :) 

eeellliiizzzaa: Awww ty laff :) <3

Aangel.ica: what abt me?

fightingfrench-fry: Ur a little bit of a mom but more of the intelligent smart one that keeps us from killing each other.

Aangel.ica: Thanks laff :)

fightingfrench-fry: anytime mon ami <3

\-----------------------------------------------

Ham-lion:...Burr...Your really warm...

A.Burr: Why are you texting me when Im literally cuddling you right now? 

Ham-lion: :)

A.Burr: Alex...I love you.

Ham-lion:....

A.Burr:...

A.Burr: Are you okay you look like your about to have a heart attack. 

Ham-lion: BECAUSE I AM NOW SAY IT AGAIN IN RL U HOT DORK!!!

\-----------------------------------------------

eeellliiizzzaa: Anyone wanna come to Alex's house with me?

eeellliiizzzaa:...

JTurtleLover:...

Mulligan.Horse:...

fightingfrench-fry:...

ANDPEGGY1:...

Angel.ica:...

Angel.ica: Hmm...Guess everyone is either asleep or doing something else. Peggy is taking a nap. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Well I guess It will be just u and me Angie :)

\-----------------------------------------------

A.Burr: Alex...Why are you crying?

Ham-lion: Because...I had that nightmare again...):

A.Burr: The one about the hurricane?

Ham-lion: Yeah...):

A.Burr: Alex, Look at me...

\-----------------------------------------------

eeellliiizzzaa has sent a picture. 

eeellliiizzzaa: #THESHIPHASSAILED SQUEEEEEE

Aangel.ica: Oh MY GOD THAT IS THE CUTEST FUCKING PICTURE EvERAHHHH 

JTurtleLover: OH my GOD ISTHATBURRCUDDLINGALEX!?

eeellliiizzzaa: I walked into his house and went to find him, I opened his door AnD JUSTHADTOTAKEAPICTUREITWASSOCUTE

eeellliiizzzaa: Angie u go look!

Angel.ica: NO. 

eeellliiizzzaa: YESSSS.

Aangel.ica has sent a photo. 

Aangel.ica: HES NUzzLING HIS NECK AND KISSINGHISfaCEAAHHH

fightingfrench-fry: Yall r creepy. 

Mulligan.Horse: Yeah its kinda creepy what u guys r doing. 

Aangel.ica: BUT ITS SO C U T E. 

Ham-lion: HOW THE FUUCK R YALL IN MY HOUSE!?

eeellliiizzzaa: OH FUCK ABORT MISSION CODE RED REEETRREEAAATTT.

Aangel.ica: IM TOO YOUNG TO DIE. 

eeellliiizzzaa: OMG ANGIE WHERE R U!?!?

A.Burr: In the bathroom! Angelica open the door!

fightingfrench-fry: R U N. 

Ham-lion: OPEN THE CAR DOOR ELIZA SO I CAN KICK UR ASS. 

JTurtleLover: ImLaigHINGSOhWRa

Aangel.ica: UR SCARING ME A A RON. 

Mulligan.Horse: A. A. RON!?!?

JTurtleLover: U DONE MESSED UP A. A. RON im SOrry.

fightinfrench-fry has left the chat. 

A.Burr: Angelica open the damn door!

Aangel.ica: N o O. 

JTurtleLover: BURR WHEN U CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

Ham-lion: OH GOD JOHN N O.

Mulligan.Horse: DID U FORGET TO CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR!?

A.Burr: OPEN THE DOOR.

Aangel.ica: FINE.

JTurtleLover: I CHIME IN: HAVEN'T U PEOPLE EVER HEARD OF!?

Mulligan.Horse has added fightingfrench-fry to the chat. 

fightingfrench-fry: CLOSING THE GODDAMN DOOR

Ham-lion: NO!!!

Ham-lion has kicked fightingfrench-fry and JTurtleLover from the chat.

Mulligan.Horse: I cANTBREATHimMCRYINF. 

Aangel.ica: S C R E A M S. 

A.Burr: OhMYgOGss YOU sLAMMED THE dOIR IN mY FaCEFUXK. 

Ham-lion: OMG BURR R U ALRIGHT!?

eeellliiizzzaa: ANGIE GET UR ASS IN THE CAR!!!!

Aangel.ica: IM HERE. 

Ham-lion: YALL ARE BANNED FROM MY HOUSE. 

ANDPEGGY1: I JUST WOKE UP WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?

Aangel.ica: Gay adorable stuff and panic! References.

Mulligan.Horse: U didn't miss much it was kinda lame. 

ANDPEGGY1: Have u guys touched butts yet? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ham-lion has kicked ANDPEGGY1 from the chat.


	10. Cards Against Humanity and Chipotle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending for this cute little fic

eeellliiizzzaa: WE WERE GONNA TELL U GUYS SOMETHING BUT U NEVER RESPONDED!!

Ham-lion: THAT DOESN'T FUCKIN MEAN U CAN BREAK INTO MY HOUSE. 

Aangel.ica: We did not break into ur house Hammy. We used the window.

Mulligan.Horse: Thats some assassin creed shit right there tf 

A.Burr: How even...

Ham-lion: ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAVE MY BOYFRIEND OVER. And were cuddling!!!

Aangel.ica: WHICH WAS THE CUTEST SHITEVER OMG

A.Burr: *Future Husband.

Ham-lion: awwwwww :)

A.Burr: :) <3

fightingfrench-fry: ew get a room u two im trying to eat with John at chipotle. 

JTurtleLover: U literally are drinking  
Ur soda shutup.

fightingfrench-fry has kicked JTurtleLover from the chat. 

Ham-lion: WTF YALL ARE AT CHIPOTLE WITHOUT ME!?

fightingfrench-fry: yeah. u got a problem with that? Does it B O T H E R U?

Ham-lion: YES it DOes. I WANT TACOS TF.

A.Burr: Yeah but wasn't Chipotle in some scandal in which they made a lot of people sick?

fightingfrench-fry: yeah but they got rid of it.

Aangel.ica: Y do u still eat there tf.

fightingfrench-fry: CAUSE HOE I NEED MY TACOS. 

A.Burr: Nothing like expensive Mexican food that can give you a disease! 

Ham-lion: BAHAHIMLAUGHinG.

Mulligan.Horse: basically. 

Aangel.ica: Burr I never knew u had a sense of humor 

A.Burr: Thank you. 

Ham-lion: I TOLD U HE WASN'T BORING.

eeellliiizzzaa: YALL SHUTUP OKAY!!!

ANDPEGGY1: savage. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Okay so u know the whole thing with Thomas Jefferson?

Ham-lion: *Trashcan

ANDPEGGY1: *Skittles

A.Burr: skittles????

eeellliiizzzaa: Well um basically Thomas Jefferson is Skittles.

Ham-lion: THE DRUG DEALER!?

A.Burr: Thomas Jefferson is a drug dealer???

Ham-lion: THATS HYSTERICAL!

Aangel.ica: We threatened to tell the school board if he didn't leave u guys alone. 

Ham-lion: Awww u guys are the best :)

Mulligan.Horse: Anyone have plans for summer yet?

fightingfrench-fry: Im going back to France to see my family :)

Aangel.ica: Dad's sending the three of us to London for the summer. 

A.Burr: Im heading back to Connecticut to see my parents. 

Mulligan.Horse: Meh. I'll stay on campus most of the time in my dorm bingewatching supernatural and then Im gonna go visit my parents for a month or two and probably have dorm parties. 

Ham-lion:...Im staying at my pitiful house off campus all summer doing nothing because my foster care parents hate my guts :( 

A.Burr: Alex thats not true, You know they love you deep down. 

Ham-lion: Yeah nothings says love life: "STOP TEXTING ME ABOUT HOW UR GETTING BULLIED GROW A BACKBONE PUSSY" ):

A.Burr: Well I love you. 

Ham-lion: Thank you bby. 

Mulligan.Horse has added JTurtleLover to the chat.

Mulligan.Horse: wht r u doing for the summer?

JTurtleLover: I was gonna see my family near the end of summer

eeellliiizzzaa: y?

JTurtleLover: I have 7 fucking siblings and my parents r rlly clingy. 

fightingfrench-fry: jesus.

Ham-lion: What?

fightingfrench-fry has kicked Ham-lion from the chat. 

A.Burr: HOW DARE YOU KICK MY BOYFRIEND.

A.Burr has added Ham-lion to the chat. 

Ham-lion: My knight in shining armor <3

fightingfrench-fry: GET. A.ROOM. 

JTurtleLover: DUDE U HAVE CAH THE FUCK U DIDN'T TELL ME!!!

A.Burr: CAH?

Ham-lion: Cards Against Humanity the best fucking game ever. Its offensive af but awesome and hilarious.

Mulligan.Horse: I WANNNAA PLLAAYYY

fightingfrench-fry: If yall wanna play cah u can come over to my dorm. 

JTurtleLover: Annnd herc is already here 

Mulligan.Horse: Im only another floor above u in the dorm 

Ham-lion: I WANNA PLAY!! HOLD ON LET ME FIND MY KEYS

A.Burr: Can I come play? Its sounds interesting.

fightingfrench-fry: sure. Just u and alex can't be all fuckin lovey-dovey. 

JTurtleLover: NO PDA. 

A.Burr: Got it on my way. 

Ham-lion: WAIT BBY CAN U PLS PICK ME UP?

A.Burr:??? But you have a car Alex and you live a bit far away from my house...

Ham-lion: PLEEEAAASSSEEEEE? 

A.Burr: Just drive there I will meet you there!

Ham-lion: NOOO THATS TOO MUCH FUCKING WAAAALLLLKKIIINNGGGG. AND IM LLAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZYYYYY.

JTurtleLover: Oh my fucking goD.

fightingfrench-fry: Ur too lazy to walk out of ur house to the car? Smh.

Ham-lion: AAAAAAAAARRRROOONNNN.

A.Burr: Hamilton please stop.

Ham-lion: BURRRRRRRRRRRR

Ham-lion: P L E A S E ?

A.Burr: Okay FINE! I'll pick you up but only because I love you. 

Ham-lion: Yay! :)

A.Burr: I swear to God Alex you are such a child some times. 

Ham-lion: hehehe u know u love it when i boss u around <3

A.Burr: Not really but I do so adore you. <3

fightingfrench-fry: Your THAT boyfriend aren't u hammy?

 

Aangel.ica: Hey me Peggy and Eliza r on our way 

fightingfrench-fry: K

eeellliiizzzaa: DON'T U K HER MISTER.

Aangel.ica: WTF ELIZA UR DRIVING STOP TEXTING UR GONNA KILL US. 

eeellliiizzzaa: Im at a stop light chill.

Mulligan.Horse: Still u shouldn't do that. 

JTurtleLover: Its against the rules. 

JTurtleLover: Hey can I invite Maddie?

fightingfrench-fry: um i guess. 

JTurtleLover has added maddiesson to the chat.

JTurtleLover: Hey maddie do u want to join us at Laffy's room to play Cah?

maddiesson: really? Sure i love that game! Ill be there in a second let me get dressed. :)

JTurtleLover: yay! :)

A.Burr: Alex Im here.

Ham-lion: AYYYEEEE.

A.Burr: OHmYGODUSCARED THE FUCK OUT of ME.

A.Burr has sent a picture. 

Mulligan.Horse: OHMYGOD 

JTurtleLover: ALEX Y R U TRYING TO GET IN THROUGH HIS DOOR WINDOW JESUS. 

A.Burr: HE LITERALLY L A U N C H E D HIMSELF INTO MY CAR I JUMPED.

Ham-lion: I was trying to scare u ;)

A.Burr: Well you succeeded. 

ANDPEGGY1: Lets invite Skittles ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

fightingfrench-fry: N O.

ANDPEGGY1: y?

fightingfrench-fry: bc i don't want trash stinking up my house jfc. 

Aangel.ica: shitty dorm room*

eeellliiizzzaa: laff u need to clean up.

fightingfrench-fry: dont tell me what to do sit ur booty-butts down. 

eeellliiizzzaa: And we rlly should apologize for how we threatened him.

Ham-lion: WTF HE SHOULD BE APOLOGIZING TO M E. 

Mulligan.Horse: tru.

ANDPEGGY1: we should still invite him tho. 

fightingfrench-fry: Okay FINE but im not being nice to him. 

Ham-lion: Me either. 

A.Burr: We're here. 

eeellliiizzzaa has added JeffMissed.Evrything to the chat.

JeffMissed.Evrything: WHAT DO YALL WANT NOW!?

ANDPEGGY1: Skittles do u like cah?

JeffMissed.Evrything: cards against humanity? Yeh. 

Aangel.ica: U wanna come over to Laffs dorm room and play with all us? Maddie will be there. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Why I would want to hang out with yall u blackmailed me. 

Ham-lion: U BLACKMAILED ME ASSHOLE.

eeellliiizzzaa: BOTH OF U APOLOGIZE!!!

Ham-lion: No.

eeellliiizzzaa: DO IT!!!

JTurtleLover: U DON'T HAVE TO SCREAM IN RL JESUS ELIZA. 

fightingfrench-fry: literally calm down. 

Ham-lion: Im sorry for my friends black-mailing u. And im sorry for all the mean things i have called u.

JeffMissed.Evrything: Im sorry for blackmailing u and bullying u and burr. 

JeffMissed.Evrything: Is that good enough?

eeellliiizzzaa: YES!! AWWWW HAPPY ENDING!!

Aangel.ica: okay eliza sit down and stop yelling jesus. 

fightingfrench-fry: herc how long have u been shufflin the chards jesus. 

Ham-lion: chards 

Mulligan.Horse: ITS REALLY REALLY HARD TO SHUFFLE CARDS I HATE THIS. 

maddiesson: Let me do it Im good at this.

ANDPEGGY1: Come on Skittles...Come join us :)

JeffMissedEvrything:... Fine. Im on my way.

ANDPEGGY1: YAY!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so don't make fun of me lol.


End file.
